I didn't start learning to ride until May 2010 and for the entire summer of that year was injured. My first year of riding was not that solid but since April last year, I've not missed a ride. I can walk, sit and rise trot, canter, and have started learning transitions and diagonals on a variety of horses. Come and join me on my adventures with my horsey friends all done with no sight on my part. don't feel afraid to ask me any questions. being blind and a horse rider is new, interesting and very exciting. So I hope you can gain something from reading this.
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Feel Like Quitting
I know I've said this before here and many other places in my life, I am my worst critic but what I'm about to discuss has nothing to do with that. I'm a perfectionist, this is true but I know like anyone who has been around animals, that some days it's you, some days it is them and the rest it works perfectly. I am under no illusion that my achievements on horse back this year have been pretty impressive, from my point of view at least. I learnt to walk and trot without someone holding on to the horse. I know, no big deal for a sighted rider but for me that was huge. Even in recent months, I've been trusted to try cantering without a leader and I am so thankful for being given those opportunities to do those things. Maybe I've had a bad ride today and that's that but maybe I've hit a road block that I can't get around. Maybe I'm only meant to be this good and improvement will never come so for the rest of my riding life, I'll be walking, rising trotting and never getting a good canter. I know all the things, relax, heels down, hands low,go with the rhythm and relax but no matter what happens, I can never get all of those things. I see others learning doing it with ease and I just feel I'll never get past this road block. I know it's me, it's all in my head and I don't see a way forward to change my approach and therefore change the outcome. I had a relatively uneventful lesson today, some walking and trotting. It was hard to get into the trot but I did it so that made me happy. My legs got a work out as the cobbles were apparently scary for my tall, cheeky bay friend but I kept him going and kept in control. Then the canter, just awful! Got two strides on second attempt and then pulled back. I don't know how to stop doing this. I don't know how to stop tensing, how to just do everything I know I need to. I love horses!!! I am so happy I've done this but I don't know how to move forward and not sure I can keep taking this continued level of failure. Boy, this is a depressing blog but I have always been honest in my blog entries so today should be no different. I surely feel like quitting today. And the horrible, sad thing is, if I did, I didn't say goodbye to my horsey friends. I'm not sure what I'll do. So if this is goodbye, thanks for reading and take care and all the best to you and your horsey friends! :) Marie